Today’s Biblical Humor

David tells off Michal, the daughter of Saul

16.) And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.

20.) Then David retured to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel today, who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!

21.) And David said unto Machal, It was before the LORD, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel: therefore will I play before the LORD.

22.) And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in my own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour. 2 Sam. 6: 16, 20-22

The Chapel

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WebChaplain Terrance McGee

Today’s Biblical Humor

 Elisha is mocked

23.) And he went up from thence unto Beth-el: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24.) And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. 2 Kings 2:23-24

The Chapel

God Bless all Sabbath Day Worshippers.

WebChaplain Terrance McGee

Today’s Biblical Humor

Jesus Brings salvation to Zacchaeus’ home

4.) And he ran before, and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way.

5.) And when Jesus came to that place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus, make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house.

6.) And he made haste, and came down, and recieved him joyfully. St. Luke 19:4-6

Plan of Salvation

Plan of Salvation

Salvation is deliverance from the power and penalty of sin; redemption.

Steps to Salvation

1.) Recognize and admit that you are a sinner.

8.) Behold, it is come, and it is done, saith the Lord God; this is the day whereof I have spoken. Ez.39:8

2.) Repent of your sins.

15.) And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel. St. Mark 1:15

3.) Confess Jesus as Lord and Savior.

24.) I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins. St. John 8:24

4.) Be baptised in water.

5.) Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. St. John 3:5

5.) Recieve the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

5.)  For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence. Acts 1:5

6.) Obey the Word of God.

4.) Hear, O Israel:In that O He who struggles with God. The LORD our God is one LORD: Deu. 6:4

Christian Admin Terrance McGee

Today’s Biblical Humor

Warning Against Souls Tested Positive For Pissing Aganist The Wall

20.) And Ahab said to Elijah, hast thou found me, O mine enemy? And he answered, I have found thee; because thou hast sold thyself to work evil in the sight of the Lord.

21.) Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel,… 1 Kings 21:20-21

The Chapel

God Bless all joyful souls.

WebChaplain Terrance McGee

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WebComedian Admin Terrance McGee